McDonalds 2009 A Fine Vintage

rotten - fruit
Originally uploaded by ladypictureshow

In the Guardian Guide section today there was a link listed to a story about a woman who left a McDonald's Happy Meal out on a shelf for a year.

Clicking on it I'd thought it would be gross, but it looks practically the same. Worth a look. You've got to wonder what food that doesn't rot would do to your body.

Since doing Atkins, and then even more with Primal, so much more of my food has been in the fridge. I think that freshness and the amount of time something takes to go bad must be a factor related to health. My fridge is crammed with vegetables, salad leaves and hard fats, whereas the cupboard has just nuts, seeds, eggs and spices. (And my husband's carbs, but I ignore them!)

With Primal as opposed to Atkins, one of the best things is that I can have a fruit bowl with actual fruit in!NB Atkins does have a berries, and then a fruit rung, but I could never quite get there. With Primal Blueprint, fruit is on the menu from the start. Yay!

The Importance of Sleep (and Relaxation)

the october bed
Originally uploaded by eklektick

Wow, check out this bed! I was searching flickr for a picture for this post of big fluffy pillows and came across this photo stream of beds by eklektick. It seems she creates a bed theme or look each month and posts them on flickr - and actually sleep in it. This halloween one was my favourite, but the others are great too. Worth a look.

So, sleep. As I have said before Mark's Daily Apple is where my primal journey really began in earnest. I check it everyday or so. Today's post is on sleep, and I would recommend reading it even if your aren't in the least primal. The long and short is that sleep is very important and even a little bit of missed sleep has a negative impact on your ability to function. And man, is that a timely reminder for me.

I kind of intend this blog to be a hideaway from non-food and exercises stresses in life, so don't want to drone on about the crapness of my life at the moment (though, hell, it's all relative and I definitely have a better deal that a lot of people). But at the moment the stress is getting in the way of one of the Primal Commandments to get enough rest.

So in the last two nights combined I have had about 7 hours sleep. And I love to sleep. I often get nine hours. And I'm feeling the deprivation. And it is not good. If I get anymore dull-witted I might have to replace my cutlery with plastic to avoid injury to myself.

I think getting more sleep will be my next Primal Priority now I feel a bit more in the groove of eating and exercising.

But what if you can't sleep not because you're out partying like a 20 something maybe should be, but lying there worrying and fretting and gnashing your teeth like a total crazy?

So we come to relaxation. And my inability to do it. Good food and exercise certainly help me to deal with stress. If I were to eat a whole load of sugary, pastry, bready carbs now I'd feel comforted for about an hour and then I'd turn into the carb monster and then I'd feel guilty and worse and in need of more comforting. Not worth it.

Meditation works for me. But I never seem to find the time or be in the mood. Or my neck and back are so tense that being in a mediation pose is just more painful. A doctor once told me I have the tightest neck muscles they'd ever seen, and I was sorta proud, like at least my commitment to worrying was clear to the medical professionals. I was 17 then and life has not got breezier since.

I've developed a weird jaw pain over the past few days and Dr Google tells me it could be stress from clenching my teeth and possibly grinding them in my sleep. Either that or I have moments to live, you know how it is with googling medical problems. The internet must be a hypercondriacs dream/nightmare.

Anyway, when the going gets tough, the tough get going, and the weak, it appears, hobble themselves with back and jaw ailments. How do you calm down primally? Can a seasoned worrier ever really chillax?

And just to say: I total admire that bed. It makes mine look pretty darn unappealing, covered as it is in dressing gowns, books and biro marks.

Pondering Fat Acceptance

Kater Carlo
Originally uploaded by pixel_unikat /away for a while

Is fat political? Does fat-ism exist? As a long-term student of politics I have a tendency to see everything as political. And I would also say, yes fat-ism does exist. I worry I may have been guilty of fat-ism myself at times. Even at my largest (which these days does not seem that big) I was guilty of thinking harsh thoughts about people's size, or their size combined with their outfit, even if they were slimmer than me.

Part of the reason so many people want to lose weight, I think, is because of this judgement that they would make of others, and are aware of others making of them. Even though I had a thyroid problem, and so knew first-hand that for some people weight gain is not the result of endless sofa-bound eating, I still had that knee-jerk reaction about myself and others.

Anyway, the reason I am blathering about this is because I have recently been reading Fatshionista which often touches on fat acceptance, as well as great fashion.

But for the first time I understood that Fat Acceptance was about more than just not berating yourself about the extra pounds. There is no one definition, but fat acceptance includes the idea of being healthy at any size, like eating right and exercising. When I think of my insane yoyo dieting and some of the dumber diets I have tried, this is an appealing and sensible idea. It is also about doctors not seeing the health problems of the overweight as all linked to their size - which is something I have experienced.

Perhaps most importantly, fat acceptance makes the case that discrimination against overweight people should end. Sometimes, especially watching some comedy shows, it feels like larger people are the last group that people can laugh at without feeling guilty. Which strikes me as odd. When shows and films feature fat characters that get cast or suited-up for laughs (e.g. Monica from friends in her fat suit) how are the 20% of obese people (here in the UK, and 32% in the US) supposed to feel?

So, why aren't I casting my lot in with the fat acceptance movement? I have thought about it. And I envy people who are able to accept their fat, or at least decide to work their way towards accepting it. But I know that for me, it would be a lie. I don't accept being overweight, and I don't like it. I have been overweight, I have lost the extra pounds and regained them. I hate yoyo dieting. This blog is about ending that. I am not clear I will succeed for good. After all 95% of dieters have a relapse. BUT I feel I have to try because I don't like the alternative.

Also, if I were to move towards accepting my fat I am not sure I would be able to be healthy at any size. It is fighting the flab and maintaining any loss that stops me from being the carb-monster. As much as I appreciate that fat acceptance is about freeing yourself from this hyped-up dieting spiral, it is not something I feel I can do. I would like to think this opinion covers only me, but I'm as guilty of the next person in making a snap judgement about someone because of their size.

This is not to say I am anti-fat acceptance. On one level I kind of envy that level of self-belief. Anyone being happy with their size is great in my opinion. Although, having said that, there are possibly limits. I think deliberately getting larger and larger is sort of worrying. In this case a woman is deliberately trying to reach 1000lbs. Her husband's encouragement seems troubling to me. If someone's partner was encouraging them to get thinner and thinner to the point of anorexia it would be equally troubling, but because she is large I feel I should censor myself.

What about you? Anyone out there consider themselves part of the fat acceptance movement? And can you be a slim fat activist?

Edited to say: I just realised that Fatshionista's logo features a plump cat - the choice of the photo above was accidental, or subliminal because I was thinking about it. Either way it is a homage, not a copy. Also cats are brilliant.

Talking Myself Down from the Ledge

Dairy Milk
Originally uploaded by computerjoe

It's day three of eating primal, just after lunch. And the cravings have hit. HARD. All I can think about is my poison of choice - Cadburys Dairy Milk with hazelnuts. Last week when the carb carzy was in full swing I ate 250g family size bar a DAY.

When I did Atkins the first nine meals were generally enough to get me into ketosis and start to stop cravings. I am a bit worried that with the Primal Blueprint, with more carbs including fruit, that cravings will stick around longer.

So I'm posting here to set myself up with some accountability. The longer I do this the less of a probablem these cravings will be. I know this, but yet my brain is screaming at me to eat something sugary - like the Dairy Milk. I don't have any, but I do have some old orange marmalade in a cupboard which would go great on some hot buttered toast with a cup of tea.

I will not give in!

Having said that any ideas for tackling cravings gratefully recieved!

No More Kickboxing for a While

For a little way this blog will be more Primal than Ninja. I have got a new job, which requires moving house. This means I will be leaving my much-loved kickboxing club, where I have been a member for the past two years. It's time to hang up my gloves, at least for now.

RF4473535
Originally uploaded by raul272000

It does at least give me a chance to fully focus on the primal exercise plan, without risking over-training. Also time will be tight, and has been for the past six months. It has been frustrating not to be able to put in all the time I did prior to my purple belt. Hopefully I can take it up again some time in the future!

Running (wo)man

Running Man
Originally uploaded by Omsel

So I feel the diet is back under control now (though I still am battling some residual sugar cravings). So I made a start on my primal exercise plan. The Primal Blueprint recommends the following weekly plan:

- lifting heavy twice a week
- high intensity interval training
- moving slowly, but frequently
- sprinting

So, I thought I'd make a start with the scariest part - sprinting. Mark Sissons routine is 6-8 full out running sprints of 100 metres, with 1 minute rest inbetween. So I recruited Mr Primal Ninja with promises of him being able to lord his natural fitness ability over me and we went off to the park.

We paced out about 100 yards and Mr PN set off. Wow, he runs fast! Then it was my turn and to my utter amazement I actually felt speedy! I'm not going to feature in the 2012 Olympics anytime soon but I was pleased with covering the distance in 15 seconds or so (though later sprints were slower). Mr PN made it in 11 seconds each time. I did a total of 6 sprints, he did 7.

Unlike normal jogging it was actually fun. It did feel...primal. My thighs and hip flexors ache today and I was in a lovely mood all day afterwards. Probably a placebo effect but endorphins may have been involved. I can definately imagine doing that once a week, rather than trying to jog for ever increasing periods.

Today we went for a walk around the local wood and lake - moving slowly for about an hour and a quarter. Yay! Loving the primal exercise so far.

Tomorrow a heavy lifting session is planned.

Atkins - Close but no cigar

fried eggs and bacon cake
Originally uploaded by debbiedoescakes

Don't you love this cake?! I was totally fooled.

I thought I would make this a separate post because Atkins lasted a long time for me, and I did briefly (for about one glorious day!) get to goal weight - which was 168lbs (12 stone).

Atkins is very much misunderstood. When I was following Atkins (the 2002 Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution version) everyone and their Mum felt free to lecture me on how I would diet of a heart attack, how I was only losing water weight not fat, how my kidneys would explode and basically how all of humanity would scorn me. None of these things happened. I followed Atkins from September 2006 until February 2010. The first year went very successfully and I lost a load of weight.

I felt GREAT - more energy, hardly any colds or flu, no headaches, great skin and a whole load of other benefits. People tend to think of Atkins as a meat and fat fest but I swear I ate more veg on that plan than most people generally do. My typical day was:

Breakfast: 2 grilled or fried pieces of bacon, 1/2 cup mushrooms cooked in butter, 1 oz of chedder, a medium tomato, and two fried eggs. When it was going well I also had a bowl of blueberries and cream (small portion).

Lunch: A can of tuna packed in oil, lots of mayo, 1 cup of rocket, 2 cups of romaine lettuce and/or raw spinach and a cup of peppers.

Snack: Cheese (1 oz) or 20 olives.

Dinner: Chicken breast and two cups of denser veg like broccoli or courgettes or both! Also served with pesto and cheese, or mayo.

Drinks: 2 cups decaf tea with cream or decaf coffee and cream and lots of water.

When it was going well I loved this plan. I didn't get bloodtests as the book recommended, but my thyroid function was not affected and I had great blood pressure. I exercised regularly and didn't feel that low carbs affected that. BUT there were problems for me, which is why my search for a long-term solution continue and have finally led me to the primal approach. The problems I couldn't get to grips with plagued me from after that first year to now, really.

1) Atkins works on a ladder system - you start off basic, at 20g of net carbs per day and then add in more veg, more dairy, nuts and seeds, berries and so on and eventually end up at some small amount of pulses and grains. Each person is meant to test their personal reaction to each new food and to find out their own level of carbs to lose weight and the level at which they maintain. For me, and this was when I exercised and hour a day six times I way I was frustrated that after that first year I could not eat more than 35g net carbs without my weight loss stalling or gaining.

2) I found it hard to stick to when I was away for a longer period of time. If staying with friends or family for a night or two I could generally limp through by packing hardboiled eggs, mini cheeses and cherry tomatos to snarf when no-one was looking! I could eat some meals with them, but watch the carbs. But after around three days, say at Christmas, this became awkward and to be honest, quite anti-social. Then, the moment I ate something not on plan I would go absolutely off plan with gusto. It was like some insane sugar and carb monster would take over my body and I would become like an eating machine. I would eat secretively, storing chocolate, eating massive portions of pasta, heaps of anything. It was almost like I was trying to eat all the carbs I'd avoid in a couple of days. I felt upset by this, and felt like Atkins had put my relationship with food even more out of whack than ever, and like I was trapped doing Atkins forever or I'd struggle to gain back control.

3) Once off plan the punishment was very swift - I could, and did, regain weight in terms of lbs each day. Over a week and a half away for Christmas I could easily gain back a whole stone (14lbs). Then I would get home, start up again and feel I had to re-work the ladder each time to get my cravings under control.

Ok, so all this became very frustrating but I stuck with this rollercoaster of good behaviour, weight loss, alternating with massive sudden gains up to now. September 2006-to February 2010. Occassioanlly I would try another plan but always came back to Atkins when I felt rubbish, couldn't control my cravings or lose weight. But the real nail in the coffin for me was:

4) Uhm, not sure how to say this. But let's just say it seemed to be affecting my libido and my husband eventually begged me not to carry on. I have to qualify this and say this is how it SEEMED. I have not heard of anyone else with this problem, in fact I think the opposite is more common.

Don't get me wrong - I still have a big affection for for Atkins. I have been part of fantastic forums online where people work the plan successfully and are very happy for years. I think his work is worth reading and I am so used to Atkins that I tend to eat like that automatically given half a chance. For me I learned that carbs are key to my weight loss, to my mental wellbeing and my physical health. But I still feel something is missing, and that it can be improved, hence my primal plans.

Getting serious

Ok so the first primal banana-skin has been slipped upon. I am in the final months of my phd, about to move house and have a new job. A new diet approach felt like too much and I fell into a pit of sugary, salty processed and evil carbs!

Our that is my story, but actually it was just a big excuse. Now I am back up to 196lbs (or so, too scared to weigh self).

I need to get serious about this because I am sure it will work. Also I watched a great video at Mark's DFaily Apple about re-programming genes and it really made me think. The decisions about what eat affect not just my weight now, but my future heath. With Atkins, because it was so easy to lose weight really quickly I gopt used to thinking 'oh I can gain a bit this week and lose it the next'. But keep doing that and it adds up to creeping weight gain.

So the new rules:
- Eat Primal wherever possible but don't go crazy when can't and use it as an excuse to eat rubbish for a week
- Do the Primal Blueprint exercise plan of lifting heavy 2-3 times a week; sprint once a week and the rest of the time move slowly, rest or play
- Avoid dairy for a while to see how it goes. Add in later (about a month later) to test for intolerance
- Make an effort to get more sleep
- Fitday when have time for the first month of so

I start tomorrow with a food shop and a good breakfast. I will also weigh, measure and photograph my goodself.