Hard to Swallow - 40 vitamins a day

Vitamins!, a photo by bradley j on Flickr.

So today I took more than 40 vitamins. Why did I do this, especially considering I normally take exact 0 vitamins on an average day? I have been swallowing a whole range of different sized pills on waking, with each meal, twice without meals and before I go to bed in the name of ending the dieting madness in the form of recommendations from Julia Ross's The Diet Cure.

This book, which has bizarrely hard to get hold of considering second hand copies are available for 1p on Amazon (it seems to be out of print), is something I first read about three years ago. I was my full Atkins swing and found it interesting, but didn't feel I needed to take so many vitamins and amino acids in order to improve my health.

Now, the picture is quite different. Having yo-yo dieted for quite some time I was nearly back up to my highest weight ever, feeling totally sugar dependent and crazy around food. And when I say that I'm not one of those people who ate too much celery and is faux-berating themselves in order to draw attention to how slim they are. No, I mean I could eat - a lot. Not Channel 4 The Girl Who Ate the World type binges but constant snacks, chocolate bars, extra random sandwiches, huge portions.

And as I said I've been depressed, not badly but mildly for quite a while. What Ross's book made me realise is that I might have dieted and binged and yo-yoed myself into a mild eating disorder, but also that my brain chemistry had been affected. She starts with a simple questionnaire (available on her website: XXX) to identify what might be preventing you from losing weight. Brain chemistry imbalances are a possible problem if you score more than 10. I scored 47. Out of a maximum 47.

As well as brain chemistry imbalances there is a section, and action plan for dealing with: thyroid problems, yeast overgrowth, blood sugar instability, the ravages of low calorie dieting, food addiction, fatty acid deficiency and hormonal imbalances.

So I scored enough to indicate problems in most of these areas, so I'm taking in excess of 40 pills a day. About half are amino acid that Ross says are the building block chemicals for the brain. They are natural and become depleted by dieting, addiction and a vicious dependency cycle can be created. The rest are strong vitamins, fish oil and minerals. And I'm not even taking all those she recommends - because not all have arrived, because I couldn't find some and because I have a recognised hypothyroid condition I ignore the supplements in that section for fear of causing my thyroid to explode. I will re read that section and make changes later but in the meantime my focus is taking pills, restoring my brain to nearer factory setting and HOPING this all helps me to stick with low carb/primal lifestyle for more than two meals.

The diet in the book is like mixture of primal eating in terms of all 'clean' ingredients and then some later rungs of Atkins - so some grains and stuff is allowed. Dairy is ok for some, sugar is not. I am sticking with primal because I know low carb suits me and that the lower the carbs the better.

BUT big giant BUT. I would never tell my Mother I am taking so many vitamins because she would freak out about it being dangerous. And there is a part of me that things 'arghhh This is totally unnatural!' as I lay out my pills for the next day. In lieu of a pill dispenser I have been using a different coloured plastic cupcake mould and stacking them up and porting them around.

SO verdict? Today was only day 2 but Ross promises food cravings are over in 24 hours. I have not had huge cravings. I have had headaches, but this is normal for primalling. I have possible felt a bit calmer. The real test will be as I get bored and of course, killer PMS cravings from hell.

Roller Derby Update

Or - time flies when you are having the most fun ever! I've been part of the Fresh Meat 12 week programme for 10 weeks now and we've gone through:

- falls
- stops
- pack work
- core
- endurance
- speed
- whips

And yesterday we finally did hits! We all took our skates off, lined up and went down the line bashing each other. It was great! BUT I felt like I was holding back a little bit. It was the similar feeling that I used to get with kickboxing. Maybe I'm unsure, or just not competitive but I find it hard to give it 100%. Also, I'm probably the biggest lass there and I didn't want to hurt anyone. This is not the attitude needed for roller derby!

Kickboxing did fully prepare me for hits though. Being shoulder barged (in shoes at least) is nothing compared to holding a pad for a side kick from a man with something to prove. When we did that you'd have to plant your feet wide, brace yourself and try not to show fear. Oh and one or two people would also stand behind you to catch you. In derby there are no people to catch you, and you have wheels strapped to your feet. So actually, maybe it is harder but it is also 10,000,000 times more fun.

SO the Fresh Meat is going well but in other news I am not feeling good. I have allergies to food and/or pollen for the first time. I am feeling a little out of control around food and sugar is becoming an issue. I am sure I will drone about this many more times but basically I have become less and less able to use willpower to go low carb. I have been low, ill and down. I remembered about 3 years ago I read The Diet Cure by Juila Ross, which uses supplementation to deal with food addiction and low mood. I am eagerly awaiting my copy and hoping I can finally deal with my food demons once and for all.