Hard to Swallow - 40 vitamins a day

Vitamins!, a photo by bradley j on Flickr.

So today I took more than 40 vitamins. Why did I do this, especially considering I normally take exact 0 vitamins on an average day? I have been swallowing a whole range of different sized pills on waking, with each meal, twice without meals and before I go to bed in the name of ending the dieting madness in the form of recommendations from Julia Ross's The Diet Cure.

This book, which has bizarrely hard to get hold of considering second hand copies are available for 1p on Amazon (it seems to be out of print), is something I first read about three years ago. I was my full Atkins swing and found it interesting, but didn't feel I needed to take so many vitamins and amino acids in order to improve my health.

Now, the picture is quite different. Having yo-yo dieted for quite some time I was nearly back up to my highest weight ever, feeling totally sugar dependent and crazy around food. And when I say that I'm not one of those people who ate too much celery and is faux-berating themselves in order to draw attention to how slim they are. No, I mean I could eat - a lot. Not Channel 4 The Girl Who Ate the World type binges but constant snacks, chocolate bars, extra random sandwiches, huge portions.

And as I said I've been depressed, not badly but mildly for quite a while. What Ross's book made me realise is that I might have dieted and binged and yo-yoed myself into a mild eating disorder, but also that my brain chemistry had been affected. She starts with a simple questionnaire (available on her website: XXX) to identify what might be preventing you from losing weight. Brain chemistry imbalances are a possible problem if you score more than 10. I scored 47. Out of a maximum 47.

As well as brain chemistry imbalances there is a section, and action plan for dealing with: thyroid problems, yeast overgrowth, blood sugar instability, the ravages of low calorie dieting, food addiction, fatty acid deficiency and hormonal imbalances.

So I scored enough to indicate problems in most of these areas, so I'm taking in excess of 40 pills a day. About half are amino acid that Ross says are the building block chemicals for the brain. They are natural and become depleted by dieting, addiction and a vicious dependency cycle can be created. The rest are strong vitamins, fish oil and minerals. And I'm not even taking all those she recommends - because not all have arrived, because I couldn't find some and because I have a recognised hypothyroid condition I ignore the supplements in that section for fear of causing my thyroid to explode. I will re read that section and make changes later but in the meantime my focus is taking pills, restoring my brain to nearer factory setting and HOPING this all helps me to stick with low carb/primal lifestyle for more than two meals.

The diet in the book is like mixture of primal eating in terms of all 'clean' ingredients and then some later rungs of Atkins - so some grains and stuff is allowed. Dairy is ok for some, sugar is not. I am sticking with primal because I know low carb suits me and that the lower the carbs the better.

BUT big giant BUT. I would never tell my Mother I am taking so many vitamins because she would freak out about it being dangerous. And there is a part of me that things 'arghhh This is totally unnatural!' as I lay out my pills for the next day. In lieu of a pill dispenser I have been using a different coloured plastic cupcake mould and stacking them up and porting them around.

SO verdict? Today was only day 2 but Ross promises food cravings are over in 24 hours. I have not had huge cravings. I have had headaches, but this is normal for primalling. I have possible felt a bit calmer. The real test will be as I get bored and of course, killer PMS cravings from hell.

Roller Derby Update

Or - time flies when you are having the most fun ever! I've been part of the Fresh Meat 12 week programme for 10 weeks now and we've gone through:

- falls
- stops
- pack work
- core
- endurance
- speed
- whips

And yesterday we finally did hits! We all took our skates off, lined up and went down the line bashing each other. It was great! BUT I felt like I was holding back a little bit. It was the similar feeling that I used to get with kickboxing. Maybe I'm unsure, or just not competitive but I find it hard to give it 100%. Also, I'm probably the biggest lass there and I didn't want to hurt anyone. This is not the attitude needed for roller derby!

Kickboxing did fully prepare me for hits though. Being shoulder barged (in shoes at least) is nothing compared to holding a pad for a side kick from a man with something to prove. When we did that you'd have to plant your feet wide, brace yourself and try not to show fear. Oh and one or two people would also stand behind you to catch you. In derby there are no people to catch you, and you have wheels strapped to your feet. So actually, maybe it is harder but it is also 10,000,000 times more fun.

SO the Fresh Meat is going well but in other news I am not feeling good. I have allergies to food and/or pollen for the first time. I am feeling a little out of control around food and sugar is becoming an issue. I am sure I will drone about this many more times but basically I have become less and less able to use willpower to go low carb. I have been low, ill and down. I remembered about 3 years ago I read The Diet Cure by Juila Ross, which uses supplementation to deal with food addiction and low mood. I am eagerly awaiting my copy and hoping I can finally deal with my food demons once and for all.

Just a primal girl, living in a heavily non-primal world

IMG00127 Barbell
Originally uploaded by j_pang

Sorry for all that breathless roller derby hysteria. Back to the issue at hand (at least briefly);

After the Year of Hell that was 2010 I decide to cut the bullshit and eat super clean all of January. I took up the gauntlet throw down by the fine people at Whole 30 Being me, I made it to day 26 and then went on a ruly epic pizza and beer bender with the Mr. Before that point however, I felt amazing. I lost 11lbs in the first two weeks. My skin was perfect.

Having fluffed it entirely I need to get back on the primal horse (did horses exist in primordal times (if that is the right phrase, god do some research already why don't I?), or should I say primal bison or similar?). Sorry I went all double brackets there.

Ihave a difficult week but am planning to get back on track asap. I don't think I'll be Whole 30 though, because I started to miss butter so much that I thought about sleeping with it under my pillow. But I have learnt not to rely on cream and cheese and crappy shop-bought mayo and will continue to be mindful of these things.

Meanwhile I have been doing weights vaguely consistently. Following the recommendations of the lovely Charlotte at The Great Fitness Experiment I have been following The Female Body Breakthrough by Rachel Cosgrove. See her results summary: at The Great Fitness Experiment

I actually quite love weights. Lifting a big old (well relatively big) chunk of metal makes me feel like a badass! For someone who looks like a primary school teacher (thanks for that quote Spaced) it is a good feeling.

Primal Ninja Becomes Primal ROLLA!

Harley Davidson, American speed roller skater, 1912 / unknown photographer
Originally uploaded by State Library of New South Wales collection

Well that was an epic pause. I've had a HELL of a year, with the emphasis on the hell. But I am feeling myself again (not in the public nuisance meaning of the term) and want to get back to blogging.

Part of my getting back to being sane is my new found all encompassing obsession with the entirely fine and totally amazing sport of roller derby. If you are in the US you might know what this is. If you are in the UK and you are friends with me, the chances are roller derby is a total mystery. I'm not going to explain it all here except to say it is an awesome contact sport on skates that lets you dress like a crazy woman (or man - male derby is called, rather brilliantly, Merby) and adopt an agressive alter ego. What could be better? Like, really, name one thing.

See, you can't!

Some great introductions to this fine sport from the The London Rollergirls and The Hammer City Roller Girls

A bit of background: I moved house away from my beloved kickboxing as I covered here previously - so sad. Then I had a horrible year with job angst, family and generally went a bit cray cray as they say. With me crazy always leads to eating. Eat those feelings! Then one evening I insisted we watched Whip It, directed by Drew Barrymore. My hub loves Drew nearly as much as he loves me - or maybe more, but he is ever so slightly afraid of me so hasn't said so - and I liked the vibe from a trailer I'd seen. As an intro to the sport it is not 100% accurate, but then what sports movie is? It is a tale of young misfitty type finding her thing which turns out to be skating fast and knocking people over, as opposed to beauty pageants. There is also a love story bit which I was not as sold on, but is kinda sweet. At the end I said 'I have to do this'. So being me I got completely obsessed, threw money at the problem (in the form of skates, pads and non-essential coloured shoelaces) and asked to join the intake of a local league.

Fast forward six months and they finally had a new intake and I'm in! I had my first Fresh Meat intake on Saturday and learnt loads of great new moves and am super super super keen. In the run up to joining I met up with some other noobs and have had a great time finding my skating legs and getting to know them. They seem a group of really lovely peeps. I was surprised to see I am actually not too bad at basic skating. I have good balance and I have only fallen once at this point (and have a thigh/butt bruise to prove it - one side look slike the dark side of the moon). I can do crossovers, which I could never do as a kid, so cool beans. The actual derby skills are a different story...Sticky skating - where you keep all eight wheels on the ground, yet mysteriously move is hard! And we haven't touched on hits yet...

After the first practice I had weird asymmetrical aches - left thigh, right calf. My biceps hurt a little. My hamstrings feel like they my snap and slap someone standing behind me in the face. This is probably an illegal move in the sport itself.

I won't go into it all now, but suffice to say, I am considering getting back into primal living with a vengance. It is exactly what I need to whip me (haha!) into top shape to make the best of the 12 week course and to try out for a team!