So today I took more than 40 vitamins. Why did I do this, especially considering I normally take exact 0 vitamins on an average day? I have been swallowing a whole range of different sized pills on waking, with each meal, twice without meals and before I go to bed in the name of ending the dieting madness in the form of recommendations from Julia Ross's The Diet Cure.
This book, which has bizarrely hard to get hold of considering second hand copies are available for 1p on Amazon (it seems to be out of print), is something I first read about three years ago. I was my full Atkins swing and found it interesting, but didn't feel I needed to take so many vitamins and amino acids in order to improve my health.
Now, the picture is quite different. Having yo-yo dieted for quite some time I was nearly back up to my highest weight ever, feeling totally sugar dependent and crazy around food. And when I say that I'm not one of those people who ate too much celery and is faux-berating themselves in order to draw attention to how slim they are. No, I mean I could eat - a lot. Not Channel 4 The Girl Who Ate the World type binges but constant snacks, chocolate bars, extra random sandwiches, huge portions.
And as I said I've been depressed, not badly but mildly for quite a while. What Ross's book made me realise is that I might have dieted and binged and yo-yoed myself into a mild eating disorder, but also that my brain chemistry had been affected. She starts with a simple questionnaire (available on her website: XXX) to identify what might be preventing you from losing weight. Brain chemistry imbalances are a possible problem if you score more than 10. I scored 47. Out of a maximum 47.
As well as brain chemistry imbalances there is a section, and action plan for dealing with: thyroid problems, yeast overgrowth, blood sugar instability, the ravages of low calorie dieting, food addiction, fatty acid deficiency and hormonal imbalances.
So I scored enough to indicate problems in most of these areas, so I'm taking in excess of 40 pills a day. About half are amino acid that Ross says are the building block chemicals for the brain. They are natural and become depleted by dieting, addiction and a vicious dependency cycle can be created. The rest are strong vitamins, fish oil and minerals. And I'm not even taking all those she recommends - because not all have arrived, because I couldn't find some and because I have a recognised hypothyroid condition I ignore the supplements in that section for fear of causing my thyroid to explode. I will re read that section and make changes later but in the meantime my focus is taking pills, restoring my brain to nearer factory setting and HOPING this all helps me to stick with low carb/primal lifestyle for more than two meals.
The diet in the book is like mixture of primal eating in terms of all 'clean' ingredients and then some later rungs of Atkins - so some grains and stuff is allowed. Dairy is ok for some, sugar is not. I am sticking with primal because I know low carb suits me and that the lower the carbs the better.
BUT big giant BUT. I would never tell my Mother I am taking so many vitamins because she would freak out about it being dangerous. And there is a part of me that things 'arghhh This is totally unnatural!' as I lay out my pills for the next day. In lieu of a pill dispenser I have been using a different coloured plastic cupcake mould and stacking them up and porting them around.
SO verdict? Today was only day 2 but Ross promises food cravings are over in 24 hours. I have not had huge cravings. I have had headaches, but this is normal for primalling. I have possible felt a bit calmer. The real test will be as I get bored and of course, killer PMS cravings from hell.
Showing posts with label Bingeing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bingeing. Show all posts
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Hard to Swallow - 40 vitamins a day
Monday, 14 February 2011
Just a primal girl, living in a heavily non-primal world
Sorry for all that breathless roller derby hysteria. Back to the issue at hand (at least briefly);
After the Year of Hell that was 2010 I decide to cut the bullshit and eat super clean all of January. I took up the gauntlet throw down by the fine people at Whole 30 Being me, I made it to day 26 and then went on a ruly epic pizza and beer bender with the Mr. Before that point however, I felt amazing. I lost 11lbs in the first two weeks. My skin was perfect.
Having fluffed it entirely I need to get back on the primal horse (did horses exist in primordal times (if that is the right phrase, god do some research already why don't I?), or should I say primal bison or similar?). Sorry I went all double brackets there.
Ihave a difficult week but am planning to get back on track asap. I don't think I'll be Whole 30 though, because I started to miss butter so much that I thought about sleeping with it under my pillow. But I have learnt not to rely on cream and cheese and crappy shop-bought mayo and will continue to be mindful of these things.
Meanwhile I have been doing weights vaguely consistently. Following the recommendations of the lovely Charlotte at The Great Fitness Experiment I have been following The Female Body Breakthrough by Rachel Cosgrove. See her results summary: at The Great Fitness Experiment
I actually quite love weights. Lifting a big old (well relatively big) chunk of metal makes me feel like a badass! For someone who looks like a primary school teacher (thanks for that quote Spaced) it is a good feeling.
After the Year of Hell that was 2010 I decide to cut the bullshit and eat super clean all of January. I took up the gauntlet throw down by the fine people at Whole 30 Being me, I made it to day 26 and then went on a ruly epic pizza and beer bender with the Mr. Before that point however, I felt amazing. I lost 11lbs in the first two weeks. My skin was perfect.
Having fluffed it entirely I need to get back on the primal horse (did horses exist in primordal times (if that is the right phrase, god do some research already why don't I?), or should I say primal bison or similar?). Sorry I went all double brackets there.
Ihave a difficult week but am planning to get back on track asap. I don't think I'll be Whole 30 though, because I started to miss butter so much that I thought about sleeping with it under my pillow. But I have learnt not to rely on cream and cheese and crappy shop-bought mayo and will continue to be mindful of these things.
Meanwhile I have been doing weights vaguely consistently. Following the recommendations of the lovely Charlotte at The Great Fitness Experiment I have been following The Female Body Breakthrough by Rachel Cosgrove. See her results summary: at The Great Fitness Experiment
I actually quite love weights. Lifting a big old (well relatively big) chunk of metal makes me feel like a badass! For someone who looks like a primary school teacher (thanks for that quote Spaced) it is a good feeling.
Monday, 22 March 2010
Atkins - Close but no cigar
Don't you love this cake?! I was totally fooled.
I thought I would make this a separate post because Atkins lasted a long time for me, and I did briefly (for about one glorious day!) get to goal weight - which was 168lbs (12 stone).
Atkins is very much misunderstood. When I was following Atkins (the 2002 Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution version) everyone and their Mum felt free to lecture me on how I would diet of a heart attack, how I was only losing water weight not fat, how my kidneys would explode and basically how all of humanity would scorn me. None of these things happened. I followed Atkins from September 2006 until February 2010. The first year went very successfully and I lost a load of weight.
I felt GREAT - more energy, hardly any colds or flu, no headaches, great skin and a whole load of other benefits. People tend to think of Atkins as a meat and fat fest but I swear I ate more veg on that plan than most people generally do. My typical day was:
Breakfast: 2 grilled or fried pieces of bacon, 1/2 cup mushrooms cooked in butter, 1 oz of chedder, a medium tomato, and two fried eggs. When it was going well I also had a bowl of blueberries and cream (small portion).
Lunch: A can of tuna packed in oil, lots of mayo, 1 cup of rocket, 2 cups of romaine lettuce and/or raw spinach and a cup of peppers.
Snack: Cheese (1 oz) or 20 olives.
Dinner: Chicken breast and two cups of denser veg like broccoli or courgettes or both! Also served with pesto and cheese, or mayo.
Drinks: 2 cups decaf tea with cream or decaf coffee and cream and lots of water.
When it was going well I loved this plan. I didn't get bloodtests as the book recommended, but my thyroid function was not affected and I had great blood pressure. I exercised regularly and didn't feel that low carbs affected that. BUT there were problems for me, which is why my search for a long-term solution continue and have finally led me to the primal approach. The problems I couldn't get to grips with plagued me from after that first year to now, really.
1) Atkins works on a ladder system - you start off basic, at 20g of net carbs per day and then add in more veg, more dairy, nuts and seeds, berries and so on and eventually end up at some small amount of pulses and grains. Each person is meant to test their personal reaction to each new food and to find out their own level of carbs to lose weight and the level at which they maintain. For me, and this was when I exercised and hour a day six times I way I was frustrated that after that first year I could not eat more than 35g net carbs without my weight loss stalling or gaining.
2) I found it hard to stick to when I was away for a longer period of time. If staying with friends or family for a night or two I could generally limp through by packing hardboiled eggs, mini cheeses and cherry tomatos to snarf when no-one was looking! I could eat some meals with them, but watch the carbs. But after around three days, say at Christmas, this became awkward and to be honest, quite anti-social. Then, the moment I ate something not on plan I would go absolutely off plan with gusto. It was like some insane sugar and carb monster would take over my body and I would become like an eating machine. I would eat secretively, storing chocolate, eating massive portions of pasta, heaps of anything. It was almost like I was trying to eat all the carbs I'd avoid in a couple of days. I felt upset by this, and felt like Atkins had put my relationship with food even more out of whack than ever, and like I was trapped doing Atkins forever or I'd struggle to gain back control.
3) Once off plan the punishment was very swift - I could, and did, regain weight in terms of lbs each day. Over a week and a half away for Christmas I could easily gain back a whole stone (14lbs). Then I would get home, start up again and feel I had to re-work the ladder each time to get my cravings under control.
Ok, so all this became very frustrating but I stuck with this rollercoaster of good behaviour, weight loss, alternating with massive sudden gains up to now. September 2006-to February 2010. Occassioanlly I would try another plan but always came back to Atkins when I felt rubbish, couldn't control my cravings or lose weight. But the real nail in the coffin for me was:
4) Uhm, not sure how to say this. But let's just say it seemed to be affecting my libido and my husband eventually begged me not to carry on. I have to qualify this and say this is how it SEEMED. I have not heard of anyone else with this problem, in fact I think the opposite is more common.
Don't get me wrong - I still have a big affection for for Atkins. I have been part of fantastic forums online where people work the plan successfully and are very happy for years. I think his work is worth reading and I am so used to Atkins that I tend to eat like that automatically given half a chance. For me I learned that carbs are key to my weight loss, to my mental wellbeing and my physical health. But I still feel something is missing, and that it can be improved, hence my primal plans.
Sunday, 21 February 2010
Low GL Diets
One final diet that I have tried should be acknowledged. I have tried the low glycemic load approach a couple of times - first in 2008 and then Summer 2009 when I was trying to find something other than Atkins that worked. GL is like more sophisticated glycemic index and it takes into account the impact of food on blood sugar but also factors of portion size.
I tried Patrick Holford's Low GL Diet and also Nigel Denby's Diet Freedom approach, one at a time or kind of together. Holford's book is well researched and well written. If I could chose a way to eat this would be it. Good carbs are eaten, proteins, some fats. It is like the most healthy diet you could sterotypically think of - oats, nuts, seeds, brown rice, berries, lean meats and fish, the whole bit. But after Atkins it seemed to make sense (as carbs were generally limited and good quality) and it seemed very relaxed in comparison.
So I planned and shopped and cooked and ate. For about a maximum of two weeks each time. It just made me feel ill. I am still not sure why, but I quickly became hungry, tired and always thinking of when I could next eat and trying to make bigger portions on the sly. I got dry skin - my skin is always quick to dry out and itch after a shower when I am not eating how my body likes. And I got, um, sorry for TMI, but bowel issues each morning. Like something was troubling my digestive system. I suspected the oats or the extra fruit, but I never could tell for sure.
The Diet Freedom Low GL plan is just 'sensible' no weighing, measuring, very relaxed and appealling. This seemed like the holy grail - if I could make it work. I imagined a normal relationship with food, healthy choices, normal portions, and being able to eat out or at friend's without being anxious or resenting my diet. In my imagination I imagined laughing, in slow mo as I chose cake cafe as an occasional treat, and not then going home and eating everything sweet in sight. But, like Holford's approach, but more so, the more relxaed approach was dangerous for me. Give me an inch of and I'll eat a mile - of chocolate. 25g grams of dark chocolate were allowed as snacks. So I bought some. The first night, I had it with my cup of tea. The next day I was thinking about it, there in the cupboard. That night I ate the rest of the bar. It wasn't even that nice - 70% chocolate is not meant to be eaten in that quantity. I felt hyper and wired all night. And Mr Primal Ninja, who had helped me work out the portion size, gently asked what I was doing. And it was all over.
For people who have failed at 10 million diets this could be a frustratingly familiar feeling. You don't want to be crazy, you don't want to have food issues, but for some reason you just can't control yourself with certain foods, no matter how sternly you talk to yourself or stick hideous fat photos of yourself on the fridge.
That night, of the chocolate binge, my sister mentioned the caveman diet. And I felt cautiously optimistic.
I tried Patrick Holford's Low GL Diet and also Nigel Denby's Diet Freedom approach, one at a time or kind of together. Holford's book is well researched and well written. If I could chose a way to eat this would be it. Good carbs are eaten, proteins, some fats. It is like the most healthy diet you could sterotypically think of - oats, nuts, seeds, brown rice, berries, lean meats and fish, the whole bit. But after Atkins it seemed to make sense (as carbs were generally limited and good quality) and it seemed very relaxed in comparison.
So I planned and shopped and cooked and ate. For about a maximum of two weeks each time. It just made me feel ill. I am still not sure why, but I quickly became hungry, tired and always thinking of when I could next eat and trying to make bigger portions on the sly. I got dry skin - my skin is always quick to dry out and itch after a shower when I am not eating how my body likes. And I got, um, sorry for TMI, but bowel issues each morning. Like something was troubling my digestive system. I suspected the oats or the extra fruit, but I never could tell for sure.
The Diet Freedom Low GL plan is just 'sensible' no weighing, measuring, very relaxed and appealling. This seemed like the holy grail - if I could make it work. I imagined a normal relationship with food, healthy choices, normal portions, and being able to eat out or at friend's without being anxious or resenting my diet. In my imagination I imagined laughing, in slow mo as I chose cake cafe as an occasional treat, and not then going home and eating everything sweet in sight. But, like Holford's approach, but more so, the more relxaed approach was dangerous for me. Give me an inch of and I'll eat a mile - of chocolate. 25g grams of dark chocolate were allowed as snacks. So I bought some. The first night, I had it with my cup of tea. The next day I was thinking about it, there in the cupboard. That night I ate the rest of the bar. It wasn't even that nice - 70% chocolate is not meant to be eaten in that quantity. I felt hyper and wired all night. And Mr Primal Ninja, who had helped me work out the portion size, gently asked what I was doing. And it was all over.
For people who have failed at 10 million diets this could be a frustratingly familiar feeling. You don't want to be crazy, you don't want to have food issues, but for some reason you just can't control yourself with certain foods, no matter how sternly you talk to yourself or stick hideous fat photos of yourself on the fridge.
That night, of the chocolate binge, my sister mentioned the caveman diet. And I felt cautiously optimistic.
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